Posted on November 10th, 2015

Teen pregnancies are the sort of thing you wish was just a bad dream you could wake up from. And sometimes, no matter how much you wish this didn’t happen to you, it just did. When I first found out I was pregnant, I was in pure shock and felt like my world froze around me. The worst part was having to break the news to my parents. My parents, who thought I was their innocent, Sunday school-teaching, worship team-playing daughter. I almost would rather throw myself in front of a car than confront them with the news.

Abortion wasn’t an option for me. Did I think about it as a quick fix? Yes. Could I go through with it? No way.  I gathered up the courage to tell my mother. Thank God for my loving mother. She had compassion and mercy on me. Instead of pushing me away, she held me close and reassured me of her love for me.

At first, we thought the only option for a teen mother was to drop out of school to take care of the child. We braced ourselves for the future that was set before us. Then I watched God put together the peace He gave us that we sought: family counseling, which led us to Breath of Life Maternity Ministries. Adoption had never occurred to me as an option, but it revealed itself to me as the most beneficial choice! Not only could both the birth father and I continue to pursue our college degrees, but the child would be placed into a family who had been longing for the missing piece to their family;pParents who would love and cherish my child as their own, while in a stable and loving marriage covenant who had been waiting for who knows how long for this blessing to come into their lives.

Adoption was definitely the hardest choice I’ve ever made, but also the most rewarding. It broke my heart to give away a part of myself in infant form. Flesh from my own flesh, given away to fill the hole in someone else’s family. That’s a blessing in the end. Looking through prospective families was such a strange feeling. It was a great relief knowing that Breath of Life only had families that had completed a strenuous interviewing process and who the ministry trusted wholeheartedly.

God’s hand was so evident amidst this entire situation. What seemed to be chaos as I went into labor two months early actually allowed me to start college at UT the next semester instead of having to wait. I learned again that God always has the best in mind for us, even if it takes us some time to realize it after the fact.

We had an emotional and bittersweet placement ceremony at a beautiful church. As the months passed by, the adoptive parents, were so wonderful in sending tons of pictures and letters as Baby Sophie grew.

Close to Sophie’s first birthday, Jeannine asked the unexpected question, “Would you like to see Sophie this summer?” I was so shocked. I had braced myself for the 15- to 18-year gap before I was reunited with her, so this opportunity caught me in almost disbelief.  The arrangements were made and as I waited with Jeannine for them to walk in, I was anxious beyond description. As I saw the three of them walk through the door, tears poured down my face. I was so happy to see them all together, but at the same time it still seemed so surreal. The reality of such real love manifested in physical form before me just blew my mind and caused tears of joy and just pure emotion to pour out.  A whole year of recovering from a life-changing event, and then there before me stood my new family. One that I had hand picked to be the perfect, loving, and supporting family for my baby girl.

I wanted the absolute best for her and that’s exactly what she got. It blew my mind how perfectly God had prepared this family for Sophie.

Kyle, Alyssa, Sophie are part of my extended family now.  We see each other once a year and have a wonderful reunion. No longer do I see this as a mistake that ruined my senior year of high school, but as a miracle that God has changed from the biggest burden a teenage girl could carry, to the biggest blessing a girl could give to a family. Adoption is not only biblical, but sacrificial. It’s not easy making the choice, but it’s definitely one I will never regret.

Posted on November 9th, 2015

I could tell you about my childhood; I could tell you about every bad and horrible situation I have been in. I could make you pity me, and perhaps even make you shed a few tears, because we all know life isn’t fair. Not to mention the world we live in would make you forget how many scriptures God devoted specifically to widows and orphans. Society will make you feel like your life has no value.

Around this time last year, I sat in Saltgrass with Jeannine Floores and told her I did not want to be a parent anymore. I couldn’t do it. A few months before that, I was a divorced mother of three working as a Patient Care Advocate and very happy. Then I was raped. In my own home, while my children slept in their rooms. I’ve always been very stubborn so I put up quite a fight. I spent months in the hospital, and when I was finally discharged, I had nothing, and was told by physical therapist and doctors that the medical field, which I loved, wasn’t something I would be able to do ever again.

I had lost everything. I was embarrassed that it could even happen to me. I was mad at God. I had no idea how I would provide for my children. I was broken physically, emotionally, and I had never felt utter hopelessness in my life. My plan was to place my children and kill myself.

About six years earlier I had been introduced to Breath of Life. I was at Sarah’s House, and they not only walked me through my pregnancy with my first child Eve, but also my second child Mya who would later be diagnosed with neuroblastoma. At the time I didn't know it, but now I am sure had I not been at Sarah’s House I would not be alive today. It was my time with Breath of Life that not only equipped me to navigate through life, but also raise my godly children. Breath of Life is the only example of God’s love on earth that I have had in my life. So much so, that at times I really didn't know how to receive so much love and didn’t understand why they even cared. Their love was so much like God’s love for us. Jeaninne loved on me and listened and spoke life into me and reminded me that God still loved me, even when I’m mad at Him.

A few months later I’m sitting in a Domestic Violence shelter. My face is swollen, my body is bruised again, but this time I’m not mad at God; I’m ready to do whatever he wants me to, I’m ready to go wherever he will lead me. I sit down to make a list of who my support system is, because I know that I will have to set myself apart from unhealthy relationships. Breath of Life is the only thing I write on that piece of paper.

I wish I had time to go into detail about the favor that is on my children’s lives because of Breath of Life. I wish I had time to explain the survival rate of neuroblastoma and the fact that my daughter is now five. I could tell you about Jeannine driving up to Fort Worth to attend court dates with me, making sure that my family never starved or experienced lack, not to mention them constantly interceding for me and my family.

During my stay at Sarah’s House Glenda and Kirby, the house parents, did something that nobody in my life had ever done: they had expectations. I completed my Phlebotomy course last month. Within weeks I was hired at one of the hospitals I use to consult at, that I never could have dreamed I would be working for. I couldn’t come back in front of the only people who love me unconditionally and  be a victim of my circumstances or a captive to my own bad decisions. I have seen girls  come and go. I have seen them bless their souls and break their hearts. Yet, the love and devotion everyone at Breath of Life pours into each girl never changes.

They say that when you become a parent you quote your mother. Well, I often quote Glenda Kyle. Glenda and Breath of Life are changing the world we live in one girl at a time. They are breaking generational curses, and healing a lost generation. They are loving the forgotten, the lost, the outcast, the black sheep. They are showing them God’s grace and mercy. They are showing women that they are daughters of a King, and He has a purpose for their lives. They are changing the world one girl at a time. They are planting the seed and only God knows what a mighty harvest Breathe of Life will have.

This ministry is why my three-pound preemie is seven, and a straight A student who loves classic art. ( She frowns on conceptual art.) She enjoys museums, math (I know), and symphonies. She also loves church and has already accepted Jesus into her heart. This ministry is why my five year old, who was diagnosed at two months old with cancer, is happy and healthy, and prays for everything including Doc McStuffins. This ministry has made me a better parent, a stronger woman, and changed the course of my life forever.  




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